ONLINE
STORE
Use the "Add to Cart" buttons if
you want to order by credit card or direct transfer. All credit card orders go
directly through PAYPAL.
See the bottom of the page for info on ordering by check or money order, or for
orders outside the U.S.
CD’s:
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click for details
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WORM QUARTET – MENTAL
NOTES CD
Worm
Quartet's brand new CD! Includes
Dr. Demento hits I'm Not A Girl and you were
wrong cabinet sanchez, the FuMP devirginizer C Is For Lettuce, and WQ's most evil song ever, What Your
Parents Think All Your Music Sounds Like. Features guest appearances by the great
Luke Ski, Curt Allen (formerly of Moriah,) and
Shoebox's wife. Cover art by Andy Hopp.
$9.99
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click for details
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WORM QUARTET –
FASTER THAN A SPEEDING MULLET CD
Worm
Quartet’s third album features the anti-relationship anthem
“Great Idea For A Song” (which was the most requested song of
2004 on the Dr. Demento show,) the ode to breeding
“I’m Gonna Procreate,” and the
mindlessly angry “Let’s Make Fun Of The Amish!” 31 tracks of brand-spankin’-new
WQ crap!
$9.99
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click for details
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WORM QUARTET – STUPID VIDEO GAME MUSIC CD
Worm
Quartet’s second album is finally back in print, fully remastered with brand-new art, EIGHT bonus tracks, and a
super-secret hidden video game!
Songs include "Frank's Not In The Band Anymore" (the #2 song
of 2002 on Dr. Demento’s Funny Top 25) plus the equally-existent
“Dear God,” "Mommy’s Broken," "I Hate
Syracuse," “Call Me Jennifer And Steal My Stapler,”
"Road Bliss," and a cover of Atom and his Package's "It's A
Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad
Mad Lib."
Bonus tracks feature appearances by the Gothsicles,
the great Luke Ski, and…no, I’m not telling!
$9.99
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click for details
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WORM QUARTET –
SUMOPHOBIA ALPHA 2 EX SUPER CHAMPIONSHIP TURBO EDITION CD
The remixed,
revamped, remastered re-release of Worm Quartet's
long-out-of-print first album, which brought the world such classics as
"I Bit William Shatner," "I Don't
Give A Sh*t About Your Website," and
"Hair On The Soap!” Chock-full of bonus tracks including
the original 1996 demo (remastered,) rarities,
previously-unreleased tracks, and collaborations with The Great Luke Ski and
Sudden Death! Well over an hour's worth of music! Includes "Inner
Voice," the most requested song of 2005 on the Dr. Demento
show!
$9.99
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click for details
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TECHNOBABBLE CD
A
compilation CD of funny songs that celebrate and bitch about technology in all
its forms. Includes a track from Worm Quartet, as well
as songs from the great Luke Ski, Sudden Death, Da
Vinci's Notebook, Logan Whitehurst and the Junior Science Club, Tom Smith,
and The Arrogant Worms, among others.
$9.99
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WORM QUARTET STALKER PACK
All
four of Worm Quartet’s albums, plus a logo sticker, for less than the
cost of a thing that costs $29.00!
A dirt-cheap way to build an immediate Worm Quartet collection and pretend
you were a fan from the beginning.
Great as a gift if you want to force Worm Quartet in its entirety down
the unsuspecting throats of your hoodlum friends!
$28.99
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Worm Quartet CDs
are also available from Interpunk and CD Baby
Digital downloads available from The Mad Music Archive, CD Baby, iTunes, and Amazon
DVD’s
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WORM
QUARTET - FLEX YOUR NIPPLES - LIVE
Nearly an hour and a half of live concert footage featuring Shoebox at his
sweatiest, prancing across stages throughout Central New York. Feaures
guest performances by the great Luke Ski, Sudden Death, and Crappy the Clown.
Includes several dumbass bonus features and an
exclusive "Shoebox rambling Incoherently About Shoebox" commentary
track with Shoebox and director/stuff-filmin'-guy Seriah Azkath.
$9.99
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STICKERS
AND
BUTTONS AND
SHIRTS AND
CRAP:
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WORM QUARTET LOGO
STICKERS (Set of 3)
Three
high-quality vinyl stickers.
These are 2.75" x 2.75", scientifically determined to be the
perfect size for sticking to stuff! Stick them on your car, your locker, your
wall, your cat, your mother, your spiritual advisor, or your favorite
dumpster!
$1.00
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WORM QUARTET LOGO BUTTON
High-quality
1” button featuring the glorious WQ SVGM logo. Logo design and art by Kim Crist.
$1.00
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SHOEBOX WITH
SPATULA BUTTON
High-quality
1” button featuring a cartoon of Shoebox ready for action, brandishing
his mighty spatula! Art by Dave
Woodson.
$1.00
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WORM QUARTET OLDSCHOOL
SYMBOL BUTTON
High-quality
1” button featuring the original punk-ass WQ symbol. Art by Shoebox.
$1.00
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WORM QUARTET
MULLETMAN BUTTON
High-quality
1” button featuring Mulletman from the cover
of “Faster Than A Speeding Mullet!” Art by Dave Woodson.
$1.00
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WORM QUARTET OLDSCHOOL
LOGO BUTTON
High-quality
1” button featuring the original logo from back when Shoebox genuinely
thought Worm Quartet was gonna be a punk band. Art by Shoebox.
$1.00
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FLAMING MAYO LOGO BUTTON
High-quality
1” button featuring the official Flaming Mayo logo. If the other buttons on this page
aren’t obscure enough to confuse your friends, this should do it. Art by Dave Woodson.
$1.00
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WORM QUARTET
BUTTON SET
Who are
you kidding? You can’t live
without all six high-quality 1” Worm Quartet buttons!
$4.99
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WORM QUARTET LOGO
T-SHIRT
Show
all your friends what crappy taste in music you have! These are really freakin' nice screened t-shirts with the WQ SVGM logo
taking up most of the front, and the lyrics to "Ice Cream Has No
Bones" on the back. Very high quality.
THESE ARE GONE!!! If there's enough demand, I might get more made - drop me an e-mail at shoebox@wormquartet.com if you want 'em!
$15.00
Medium SOLD OUT!!
Large SOLD OUT!!
XL SOLD OUT!!
2XL SOLD OUT!!
3XL SOLD OUT!!
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SHIPPING AND CHECK/CASH/MONEY ORDER ORDERING INFO:
Prices are in U.S. dollars. Use the
"shopping cart" if you want to order by credit card via PayPal within the U.S.. If you want to order by cash or money order, the
shipping info is at the bottom of the page.
If you're outside the US, please e-mail me for shipping info
Pay attention, because this is stupid. Shipping within the U.S. is based on the total amount of your purchase, as
follows:
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TOTAL
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SHIPPING
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$1.00-$11.99
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$2.00
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$12.00-$19.99
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$3.00
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$20.00-$1,386.42
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$4.50
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$1,386.43+
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I LOVE YOU!
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To order by mail, send U.S. cash, check, or money order (payable to "Tim Crist") to:
Worm Quartet
P.O. Box 23433
Rochester, NY 14692
If you're in the U.S., you should get your crap within a week or two.
DEALERS / DISTRIBUTORS: E-mail shoebox@wormquartet.com
for wholesale rates!
-=ShoEboX=-
© 1997-2008 Timothy F. Crist